The Window of Tolerance: Finding Balance and Resilience
Understanding the Window of Tolerance
You may have heard of the concept “window of tolerance”. It has gained significant attention since psychiatrist Dan Siegel coined the phrase. It refers to an optimal state of emotional and physiological functioning, where we can effectively cope with stressors and navigate life’s challenges. Understanding and expanding our window of tolerance can empower us to cultivate resilience, emotional regulation, and overall well-being.
The window of tolerance can be thought of as a state where you can manage and respond to various stressors and stimuli in a well adjusted manner. This does not mean you will always be completely calm and neutral. Rather, it encompasses a range of emotional and physiological arousal levels that allow us to stay engaged and present, while avoiding being overwhelmed by stress or shutting down when things are difficult. Think for a moment with me about a vacation that you are excited to go on. There is anticipation as you plan, excitement as you prepare to go, and hopefully fun while on your vacation. This would bring you higher within your window of tolerance. Once the vacation is over and you are back to work, the excitement level decreases, you may feel sad that it is over, and you will be lower within your window of tolerance. There is a fluid rise and fall within the window of tolerance when it is functioning well.
If you visualize an actual window, the goal is for our nervous system to remain flexible and be able to fluctuate within the window frame as needed. When we operate within our window of tolerance, we experience a sense of balance, inner stability, calmness, and mental clarity. We are better able to handle our emotions, engage in healthy relationships, and make sound decisions.
Hyperarousal & Hypoarousal
When stressors exceed our window of tolerance, we may enter a state of hyperarousal or hypoarousal. Hyperarousal (anything above the window) occurs when our stress response is heightened. This is when our fight or flight response is activated. Signs that you are above your window of tolerance include increased anxiety, irritability, overwhelm, emotional outbursts, maladaptive coping behaviors, rigidity, obsessions, among others.
On the other hand, hypoarousal (anything below the window) involves a state of emotional shutdown which can be characterized by feelings of numbness, dissociation, disconnection, depression, or a sense of running on auto pilot. This is also known as the freeze or fawn response. Both hyperarousal and hypoarousal can hinder our ability to function effectively.
Previous traumatic experiences, relational wounding, lack of adequate nutrition, and lack of sleep are just some of the things that can reduce the size of our window. For example, think about a night where you couldn’t sleep for one reason or another. Remember the next day feeling possibly more irritable, more tearful, or getting stressed more easily? This is because your window of what you can tolerate without much sleep is less than when you are functioning optimally. Then, after a good nights sleep or two, you are more regulated. One of the great things about the window of tolerance is it can shift!
Many times, when someone has experienced adverse life events, their window can remain rather small or narrow. One of the things we do in therapy is assist you in widening that window so your nervous system can begin to shift out of survival mode and increase your level of tolerance. This allows you to navigate life more effectively and remain in a more balanced state.
5 Strategies to Increase your Window of Tolerance
Here are just a few of the strategies we utilize to assist in widening your window of tolerance.
Mindfulness: Learning how to be fully present in the moment both in mind and body. This helps with emotion regulation, stress management, relationship effectiveness, and it allows us to experience the current moment more fully.
Emotion regulation: Developing skills to manage and regulate our emotions is crucial for expanding the window of tolerance. Emotions serve as a source of communication to ourselves and those around us. It is our body’s way of telling us something. When we can identify, understand, and learn how to handle emotions in effective ways, we are more able to live within our window of tolerance.
Calming the body: Your body may be in a threat detection mode most of the time. Like a revved engine, your body struggles to shift into neutral. Through various somatic exercises and techniques as well as deep breathing and vagus nerve stimulation, we can help our body know how to feel calm again.
Social support and connection: Building and maintaining healthy relationships can provide a sense of safety and security, which also helps widen our window of tolerance. Connecting with loved ones, joining support groups, spending time with friends, or seeking therapy can all foster a support system that aids in managing stressing and building resilience.
Therapy and professional support: In some cases, working with a therapist can be instrumental in expanding the window of tolerance. Having a guide to assist and walk with you step by step can reduce the overwhelm. At Wellspring, we utilize evidence-based therapies (meaning they have been researched and shown to be effective) including dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) among others. We individualize care for your particular needs.
The window of tolerance serves as a valuable framework for understanding your nervous systems capacity to manage stressors and challenges. By expanding the window of tolerance, you can once again feel empowered to navigate the ups and downs of life with awareness, resilience, and cultivate a greater sense of well-being.
